Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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