you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
