my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
