So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
