Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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