Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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