who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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