I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
