You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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