p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
