Can i not drive my cunt home
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
