She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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