so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
