got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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