New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
