We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
