Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
