i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
