Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.

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(847): View more from Illinois

sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.

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(917): View more from New York City

giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?

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(210): View more from Texas

it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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(703): View more from Virginia

high in an attic. pig roast in 10.

Fav 11 3655 1210
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?

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(818): View more from California

For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.

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