So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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