i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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