she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
