I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
