y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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