The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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