I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
operation harelip BJ is a go
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
