so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
