Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
