i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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