i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
