i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
