Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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