Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
More tranny stories later!
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
