and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
this is an emotional support booty call
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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