What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
