We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
