I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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