I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
