did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize