I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I need water and some morals
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
