shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
