3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Also, beer. Big fan.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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