Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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