I need to stop coming to work sober
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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