I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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