You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
