Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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