Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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