woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
