your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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