Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
