Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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