went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
