The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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