Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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