i may or may not be watching the land before time
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
