And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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