dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
