I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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