i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
birth control should be required to get into college
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
