well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
