we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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