omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize