I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
