well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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