I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
