he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
