i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
