I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
