just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
