So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
