Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was like eating out sand paper
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
