just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
