And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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