Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
A bitchslap is in order.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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