tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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