I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize