just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
