SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize